question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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