Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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