Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
