I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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