he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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