she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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