k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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