You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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