There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
