im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
