Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
