im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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