What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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