do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
