dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
