I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Do plants get herpes?
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