it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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