JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
They took my balls.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
