I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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