Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
