piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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