He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
