so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize