I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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