so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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