do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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