dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Randomize
