doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
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My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
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Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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