Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
