Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
