Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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