The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
