You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Less talking, more tequila
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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