Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
