Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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