so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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