I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
there was a trapeze. enough said
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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