Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he told me I talked like a deaf person
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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