I'm drive I can fine osifer
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night