My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ugly people sure do ruin things
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
