This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
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They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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