dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
