I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
