i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
