I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
