This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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