He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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