And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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