The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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