I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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