the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
