Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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