I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
