Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
