Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
