Nicole vs. Life
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
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Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
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Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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