my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
