that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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