dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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