Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
