Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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