he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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