Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
