turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize