so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
