Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
