I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
