why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
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I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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