I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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