The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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