i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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