Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
