Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
