I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
